he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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