He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
