Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Randomize
