whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
