I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
