dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
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