I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
