thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
