her vagine was all disorganized.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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