My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
