Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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