what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
