gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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