Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
