hell yes lets make some ravioli
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
