When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
