would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
