come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize