i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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