Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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