so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
