we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
