Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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