WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize