shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just had sex bonerless
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Randomize
