I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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