nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
