and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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