Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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