I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
