if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize