So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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