Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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