I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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