Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The power of my boobs compel you
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
