I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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