lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
