That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize