im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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