If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We named our party play list daddy issues
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
