The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
