on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
