Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
