this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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