I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
