..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
