He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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