just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
