you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
