I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
