how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
