i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
