Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
