True but thats because hes a fetus.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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