I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
