just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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