Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
