just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
