is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
