I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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