I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
