wat bout pragnant strippers??
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
