I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
