so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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