I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
